Sulkie Wolfen's Days of Comedy
by Sulkie Wolfen
Summary: And then I tried to be funny!


Blah blah blah, who cares about the title!

Everyone who read the gosh-darn description knows the title of this story anyway, and no one wants to read sulkenwolfpup's notes!

"Hey, I do!"

Well then, screw you.

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Everyone thinks that authors are poor people who sit in their chairs with their glasses on and slump humps and- oh gawed, authors are ugly!

But to this rule there is an exception- the grand sulkenwolfpup! She has suchsuchsuchsuchsuch a life, as she sits on her throne and drinks soda through a windy straw and a pretty diamond cup. Wait there's no such thing. Oh well too bad there is now. She bought it at Tiffany and Co. That was a very boring store. Oh well this is getting extensive. What did I tell you about these boring one-clause sentences!

Oh my gosh- I forgot! This story was supposed to be about sulkenwolfpup!

Well anyway, sulkenwolfpup is a gorgeous, lovely, fat little git who sits on her throne with her yellowed teeth and makes her stupid little smiles. Quite the opposite of most authors, wouldn't you agree?

Stop it, op! I hate it when you take over the story!

OHMAGAWSHOHMAGAWSHOHMAGAWSHOHMAGAWSH- look at this! Lookieieieieieieie! Sulkie Wolfen has TWO MUSES!

CUT- sulkenwolfpup walked up onto a stage, popping a cough drop and drinking about a gallon of water... urr at least I think it's water... and then hiccuped. There was a long pole in front of her and she grabbed her hair and pulled her head up like in Death Becomes Her and reached for the pole. Oh look, it's a microphone! Jeez who was in here last? A giant? An idiot? One of the Knights Who Say Ni?

ANYWHO, she cleared her throat (and popped another cough drop and drank another gallon of what looked like water and... oh you get it), and spoke. "... HIC hiya. Do YOU own The Lion King? 'Cause I certainly don't! Oh wait I better call Zazu in, he always knows what to do in these insane random fics."

"SULKIE WOLFEN!" exclaimed Zazu as he flew into the room and knocked everything over. "HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT YOU DON'T OWN THE LION KNIG- er I mean kiong... urr was it king?"

"DANGIT!" said sulkenwolfpup. "Why does everyone keep calling me that?"

Then Zazu's eyes flooded with tears and he started sobbing. Well usually one does when their eyes flood with tears. "Gosh-darnit! THIS ISN'T FUNNY!"

"My god I know. Let's do something else," said sulkenwolfpup.

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Dangit now I want to rename myself Sulkie Wolfen.

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The time was 3500:83:60, Yam 38, 24050985098w05830495034580348503845093405340530450394580348503485093840598309458. W? Where did that come from? Oh well just ignore it, it's a selfish ugly brute.

Anyway, the place was an old jello room from 10,00000000, 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000, 0 B.C. Jello rooms were kind of like living rooms of the future. And the past, apparently. They were made of jello. Although no one ever wanted to eat the jello because it was very dirty since everyone stepped on it.

Sulkie Wolfen was sitting in a big, fluffy arm chair made of jello. She was reading a book called "The dog takes over and likes what he sees so he decides to make a living in a boring far away land that no one could care any less about." The title hardly fit on the cover. Thusly, it was a very ugly book cover.

Sulkie Wolfen hated it when people called her Sulkie Wolfen. She insisted that her name was sulkenwolfpup. Her name was Sulkie Wolfen.

Zazu was sitting on the floor with a coloring book in front of him. It was a Lion King coloring book. He was coloring in Simba purple and green. Beside him was an enormous jug of water... urr at least it looked like water.

Suddenly and quite out-of-the-blue, Sulkie Wolfen spoke. "Apinneaple for you!" and she threw apinneaple... urr I mean a pineapple at Zazu.

"Nuuuu!" said Zazu, "I hate apinneaple!"

Sulkie Wolfen gasped. "How can you hate apinneaple?" she asked. "The world revolves around it!"

Zazu only grumbled and pushed the pineapple as far away from him as he could reach.

"Would you like a slice?" asked Sulkie Wolfen.

"That might be nice," said Zazu with a shrug.

"Then we shall leave it here!"

"Ooh, knock it off!" shouted Zazu, "The reviewers hate it when you include inside jokes that no one understands."

Sulkie Wolfen gave a long whine. "Nuuuu," she said, "I like inside jokes!"

"But this is the Lion King section of eff eff dot net!" Zazu protested. "So umm... why don't we watch The Lion King!" he suggested, as though he were the most brilliant in all the land, which of course as we all know he was.

"Okie!" said Sulkie Wolfen. Sulkie Wolfen loved to say okie without the dokie. She had never quite grasped how empty the word sounded without its companion.

Zazu smiled in deep self-appreciation for a long five minutes. Then his smile faded. "Do you know how to work the VCR?"

Then Sulkie Wolfen frowned. "Nuuuu, I don't! Oh this is so awful! And I sound so incredibly cheesy and show-ish!"

This gave Zazu an idea. "I have an idea!"

Sulkie Wolfen hated it when people said they had an idea but didn't tell her what it was. So she pouted and asked, "What's your idea?"

"We could- umm... oh no I forgot... ummm we could ummmmmmmmmmmm... shoot I forgot."

So Sulkie Wolfen got very angry and strangled Zazu.

THE END!

Well not quite.

Oh here we are- THERE'S THE END.


End file.
